The Shake Up

DISCLAIMER: This blog was made for humorous purposes only. If you have no sense of humor, please refrain from reading the following:

1. DO Get stuck at the top of the Ferris Wheel during a date
2. DON’T Regret eating a second slice of deep-fried Derby-Pie® after riding the Dizzy Dragon
3. DO Eat a Maple Bacon Sundae before dinner
4. DO Try to go an entire day at the Fair eating  only foods on a stick
5. DON’T Fight the urge to sing along to “My Toothbrush Fell in the Toilet” at Babaloo Music and Fun
6. DO Try to stump Freddy Farm Bureau
7. DO Try to get Statue Viva to laugh
8. DO Go on a quest for the fabled Golden Pineapple with Sinbad and his crew of gold seekers
9. DON’T Make funny faces at the animals in Discovery Farm
10. DO Be like Chuck Norris for the day and dish out some justice at Trial by Jury
11. DON’T Run a red-light in Safety Town (sponsored by the Kentucky State Police)
12. DO See a zombie flash mob
13. DO Beat your little brother/sister for bragging rights at the Walmart Gamecenter on Tour
14. DO Bet on which tiny couple will win the Little Miss and Mister Pageant
15. DO Be surrounded by sheer Ugliness a the Ugly Lamp Contest Sponsored by Lynn’s Paradise Café
16. DON’T Chase Wacky Wheeler
17. DO Convince the people around you that you own the new Toyota Camry when it is unveiled at the Blue Ribbon Stage
18. DON’T Represent for your town by cheering very loudly when your County Queen’s name is  called at Opening Ceremonies
19. DO Watch Luke Bryan “Shake It For You” and then do it again…
20. DO Show off your moves like jagger at the Maroon 5 and Train Concert
21. DON’T Rock your 80’s jean jacket at the Def Leppard Concert
22. DON’T Take your grandma to Battle of the Bands at the YAP Tent (or do, depending on how cool your grandma is)
23. DON’T Drive your big green tractor to the Jason Aldean Concert
24. DON’T Pee your pants at the Nerveless Nocks Thrill and Stunt Show
25. DON’T Get on the news for eating multiple Krispy Kreme burgers (You might get sick)
26. DO See a volcano erupt at the Mike Linnig’s Tropical Tent
27. DO See Elvis at the Mike Linnig’s Tropical Tent
28. DON’T Sneak into Heritage Hall for some bingo (if under age 55)
29. DON’T Volunteer your sister to be herded by Miller’s Border Collies
30. DON’T Drive to the Kentucky State Fair with livestock in the bed of your truck
31. DON’T Use a rabbit as your hood ornament
32. DON’T Eat multiple funnel cakes before getting your blood sugar checked at Health Horizons
33. DON’T Have an accident in the Rock N’ Relax Baby Care Center and expect someone to change you (If over age 4)
34. DO Say yes to that second pork burger, you can take the shuttle to the car
35. DON’T Kick the ATM machine when it runs out of cash. Bring it with you!
36. DON’T Ask the people at the lost child center to watch your kids while you go to the Def Leppard concert
37. DON’T Smoke in the Kentucky Exposition center (unless on fire)
38. DON’T Race the wheelchairs and strollers
39. DON’T Ask the Fairbears to kiss, they are JUST FRIENDS
40. DON’T Provoke Ted Nugent
41. DO Try to harmonize with the members of Boyz II Men
42. DON’T Request the Oak Ridge Boys to play Weezy
43. DON’T Let tequila make your clothes fall off at the Joe Nichols concert (It’s a song, chill out)
44. DON’T Accuse someone of taking your seat at the Free Concerts, there are no assigned seats
45. DO Wash your hands after visiting Discovery Farm, for your, and everyone else’s sake
46. DON’T Call the Miniature horses ponies, they will be offended
47. DON’T Pop the balloon masterpieces at Balloon Masters
48. DON’T Pronounce Equine “ECK-WINE” at the Equine Exhibit
49. DO Try to say Rosemary Rubbed Roast Prime Beef three times fast at the Saddlebred Café
50. DO Learn how to make a ladybug headband at Kentucky State Fair Family Stage and make your dad wear it around for the rest of the day
51. DO Break out in a C-A-T-S chant when the University Kentucky Dance Ensemble performs at the Performing Arts Showcase
52. DO Start a slow clap at the Gourmet Garden Cast-Iron Chef competition
53. DON’T Shop for Christmas presents at the competitive entries displays (they are NOT for sale)
54. DO Shop for Christmas presents at the Commercial Exhibit (They are for sale)
55. DON’T Sing “Sweet Home Alabama” at the Kentucky Experience (we will all be offended)
56. DO Be a part of the Coca-Cola Talent Classic if you want to be famous one day
57. DON’T Memorize the eye chart before getting an eye exam at Health Horizons (you’re only  hurting yourself)
58. DO Get a skin cancer screening if you have been out in the hot sun all summer
59. DON’T Ask the chiropractor at Health Horizons to give you a back massage
60. DON’T Ask Cindi Sullivan how to get your facial hair to grow thicker (not her area of expertise)
61. DON’T Wonder where Steve the Pretty Good got his name
62. DON’T Get Flamenco confused with Flamingo.
63. DO Come watch Flamenco Louisville’s talented dancers at the Performing Arts Showcase
64. DON’T Consider shooting milk out of your nose a talent. The judges at “What’s Your Talent”  from the Actor’s Theatre will not be impressed
65. DON’T Try Handsome Little Devils Human Cannonball at home
66. DON’T Be alarmed when you hear thousands of screaming girls on August 27th. The Cheer and Dance Championship will be here
67. DO Forward march all the way to the Military exhibit
68. DON’T Go to the Dairy Cattle Parade of Champions expecting to get ice cream
69. DO Wonder what sweet sorghum seed is
70. DON’T Try to lift the largest pumpkin (you will fail)
71. DON’T Try to order a Miller Lite at the Budweiser True Music Tent (Don’t try to order anything if you are under 21!)
72. DON’T Try to order a Big Mac at West Courtyard Live!
73. DO Hit on Rockin’ Ted at the YAP Tent
74. DO Wear cowboy boots to the Sivori Country Music Tent (or anywhere at the Fair!)
75. DO Leave your husband at the DISH Network TV Everywhere Tour Truck
76. DON’T Try to grocery shop at the Walmart Gamecenter On Tour
77. DO Wear your blue ribbon in your back pocket
78. DON’T Wear flip flops in the animal display area (No explanation needed here)
79. DON’T Eat your pork burger in front of the swine (That could be their friend. Have a heart)
80. DON’T Ask to sample all the homemade wine and brew
81. DON’T Drink numerous cups of free morning coffee at Heritage Hall (You’ll get the jitters)
82. DON’T Be alarmed when Matt Nathanson makes your heart beat faster and faster
83. DON’T Stand under the speakers during a PA announcement
84. DO Look for William Shatner at the World Championship Horse Show
85. DO Read the Horse Show Term Guide if you want to have any idea what is going on
86. DON’T Try to eat every treat you want in one day
87. DON’T Look through the windows into the offices in Freedom Hall (It’s creepy)
88. DO Be happy when you go to see the Happy Together Tour featuring The Turtles Flo & Eddie
89. DON’T Try anything you see the Nerveless Nocks do at home. These are professionals people!
90. DO Ask to see Freddy Farm Bureau’s baby pictures
91. DON’T Ask what cotton candy is made of (just enjoy it J)
92. DO Check out our Kentucky State Fair Mobile site! It’s awesome and it will help you!
93. DO Meet some UK basketball players and get some autographs (or don’t, if you are a Louisville Fan)
94. DO Stop by general entries and get a whiff of the cake contest…ahhhhhh yum!
95. DO Miss a day of school, it’s excused J
96. DO Look for leprachauns around the Fair. Why not?
97. DON’T Enter the Mike Linnig’s Karaoke Contest if you can’t sing
98. DON’T Make an “Adam Levine: Please Marry ME” Sign at the Maroon 5 Concert (sorry ladies, he’s taken)
99. DO Make a Marry Me sign at the Train concert (It’s one of our fav’s too)
100. DO Like us on Facebook and Twitter for cool updates during the Fair
101. DON’T Try to ride every ride on the Thrillway in one day
102.DO Stop at the handwashing stations. (For all of us)
103. DON’T Start crying hysterically when you have to leave the Fair, it will be back next year
104. DO Take lots of pictures, you will want to remember this
105. DO Consider a lemon shake-up like a shake weight. It’s enough exercise to justify eating another Funnel Cake
106. DO Serenade your date to some old school Boyz II Men songs at their Free Concert
107. DO Come back and visit us for the 108th Kentucky State Fair! Once is never enough!